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27 March 2006

Mental Junk

Aight, so school is still kicking my ass- thoroughly yahewdmeh? In fact I'm supposed to be studying for a Psych of Human Sex course as you read this.. So I haven't been filling my brain with nothing but Psychology and shit..so uhhh..lets see.

Here's some random stuff that popped into my head


1)I am hot

Like, alright. I know i'm not conceited like Remy Mother or nothin like that(why that would be REEDICKYOULOUS), but when I came out the shower this morning and just stared at my naked body in the mirror I realized something.."Wow. I-am-sooo-sexy" I've learned to appreciate myself more. I don't have Buffy the Body's ass or fake tittie bags, but i'm just hot in all my chocolately goodness. Like me. Love me. Lick me.

2)"Wack Like That"

I hate Ghostface/Neyo's- "Back Like That" Other than the fact that I can't stand Neyo (that's a whole notha' post chile) this song is really fucking stupid so I won't even do it justice by putting up a link. Then again, I love Ghost--I really do, but he gotta stop the madness...LINE PLEASE!!!

Shorty what is you thinking bout
Didn't I put you down
Flyest whips, rollin' round like yea(so?)
That's the bosses chick, on the side
I might of had, one or two(what???!!)
Them silly broads wasn't nothing on you(but you still fucked em' right?*rollseyes*)
Rolling with him, try'nna get revenge
That's what you just don't do(Nigga pleeeease...)


*sigh*

See this is the stupid shit that get's on my nerves with men. Oh, you can fuck two or three stank heffa skeezoids but the minute shorty steps out to "do her", it's WWIII up in this bitch??!! Again- Nigga pleeeeease. This double standard shit has got to stop. Not that cheating is right, but goddamn can men DISH IT OUT, but these old sensitive Ralph Tresvant sensitivity singin', Foofy Foofy ass, Tropical drinkin ass, with the umbrella and marshmallows on top negros CAN'T TAKE IT! It's called Karma bitch! Deal with it. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You'll eventually get that shit smashed in your face ya dig?


3
) Myspace is boring.

It really kinda is, unless you actually know some of these people on your friends list in real life and shit. It gets boring after awhile.

-The notes from 40 year old white guys and 18 year old kids get boring after awhile. "Where do you live?" Bitch it's on my profile! Reading is fundamental...

-And the friend requests..don't get me started. So what you're in a band? Why should I add you? I don't listen to Emo bitch, stop sending me requests!

-Then you have the bulletins and those stupid ass chain letters that these hermit crab lames throw up every 2 seconds "Repost this lame ass note in 5 minutes or you won't have sex for 10 years." No loser, maybe if you'd let up your vice grip on the mouse and peel your ass off that chair you too could get some warm vagina and or/meat stick...

*sigh*

I've worn myself out for the day..More mental diarrhea to come later bitches.

Paaaaaaaaaaaaace *throws up da deuce*


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21 March 2006

WacArnolds is ruining my day!!!!

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So i'm on my way to school. 20 minutes until class starts and i'm starving. I said "fukk it..lemme stop for some breakfis.."I pull up to the drive through window and order a sausage, egg and cheese McMuffin, assuming they know I mean the entire meal because I always order that way and they usually ask you whether it's the meal or sandwich before you pull up..The drive though lady say's $3.01, so i'm thinking "Nah, she didn't put it down as the meal" and call her back again..This b!tch is urging me to pull up to the 1st window, but i'm trying to tell the heffa that I want the meal..NOT just the sandwich. So I give up and pull up to the 1st window to correct my order and the crusty teeth b!tch starts arguing with me about what I said.."Well, you said..you wanted the sandwich blah blah blah" Yea bitch, I know what I said, but i'm trying to correct it.. All the while i'm trying to explain to this cunt that I meant the meal. Just move your fukkin index finger b!tch and push whatever fukking button you have to push so I can fill my belly full of fat and delicious unhealthiness! Why the fukk are you arguing with me?!?! I know it was a mistake, just change my order. It was like forcefeeding an infant that doesn't want to eat. She was regurgitate what I initially said instead of changing my fucking order..I finally got so frustrated I told the lady-and I quote "Fukk that sandwich b!tch!! you making me late and i'm HONGRY!!!"..and peeled out the lot so quick I didn't even get to see the disgustatya expression on her face. She made me lose it yall. I'm not usually that mean to people, but she caught me on the wrong morning...


So I pull off and enter Camden, NJ (my ghetto ass hometown) still hungry..still mad. I stop at the first McDonalds in sight and go inside this time..Big mistake..There's this scrawny looking boy at the counter. Looks like work cut into his jackoff time or something cause was type angry to be at work 8.am. There's a crowd of about 5 people standing around waiting to be served. He seemed to be working furiously but at the same time, no one was getting their food. So we're all standing there for a good five minutes and he starts taking orders. He gets to me and I order a orange juice with my #2. What does he say??? "AIN'T NO MORE ORANGE JUICE..THEY ALL FROZEN"..I'm like wtf? ...*sigh* I had 5 minutes to get to class so I just got Minute Maid. Next, I get my sammich and it's on a buscuit. A fukking buscuit!! I ordered the muffin..The #2 BITCH!!! I made him change it and stormed out the store mad as hell..I'm still mad as hell.

Now, The moral of the is..

*Full House solution-to-a-conflict music plays*

I try to be as cordial as possible to service and retail workers because I used to work in retail and I know how shitty customers can be, but at some point it'll be your unfortunate luck to get one of these incompetent rude assholes taking your order or ringing your clothes up (if you haven't already) and you can't help but to be rude back and pull the "Customer is always right" rule out of your ass..It's not my fault you're not satisfied with your work. Who is? But don't make shit hard for everyone..

Drop your fast food horror stories..

Bonus: Chappelle Show "WackArnolds" Skit


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18 March 2006

Hey BITCHES!!!!

I missed you *hugs*

I've been on spring break..Woop-di-fucking-doo..I didn't do anything but sleep and put off studying. My mouse was out of commission so I haven't been updating like I should. But i'm ba-aaack. And my index finger is sore from pushing that goddamn "Tab" button over and over..lol. But yes..I'm back *sigh* "What's been the goings on you ask?"..Well:

1) I still miss my ex boyfriend. It's been over 2mths, but i'm still missing this M&M peanut head nugga. Why are men such asses, but yet we still love them? I feel like Evette when Jody told her to get off his step in Baby Boy "Jody don't luh me no mo' :("
2) I'm horny.
3) I have to wait another year to get into the nursing school I really wanted to go to(mind you I have a 3.5 GPA, all my pre-req's done, and nothing but A's and B's on my transcript)..What a bitch gotta do to get her shine on??!!!! This pushed my graduation back a year..*mad as hell*
4) Did I mention I was horny?
5) I still miss my ex b/f

Well, that's all the bad news, but the good news is i'm in luv wit--A--SONG.

By Corrine Bailey Rae- Just Like A Star.
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.::click the pic to visit her official site::.


It's rare that I fall in love with a song on first listen, but I was cleaning up one day and turned to VH1 to hear this beautiful song and it caught me mid-sweep..She sounds like Billie Holiday, and seeing as though i'm all depressed and down this fit my mood perfectly. Listen to the entire song here on myspace.

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13 March 2006

Who wore it better?

Peggy Bundy vs The Queen Aretha Franklin

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Who wore it better?



There is absolutley no fucking reason for her to be this fat. Geez, you would think people with money have all types of trainers and shit to keep them in shape or to spoon feed them Slim Fast. But uh uh..Not the Queen. It sounds like she actually likes being this way. Why you ask? I don't know and it's a shame because we'd sure like to keep her around for a few more years..

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12 March 2006

Kelis' "Bossy" video



I think she looks great. And the song is pretty hot...Mrs. Jones, I ain't mad at ya!

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10 March 2006

Camron's-"Touch It Or Not/Wet Wipes" Video



Meh, I expected hilariousness with J.J Evans and fake Bey but this shit is straight Oscar the Grouch--HOT GAAHHBAGE!

I can't believe I'm saying this but--Jay Won.


In other news...


**Kids dressed up as celebrities

Is it just me because upon looking at the pictures I automatically thought "Texas beauty pageant..Texas beauty pageant.." It's cute, but in a way it's a little creepy dressing those chirrens up like that with all that makeup and shit on. Who knows what sex pervs are looking at those photos. Ya know?

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08 March 2006

Shar Jackson we have to talk.

Shar Jackson--I feel sorry for her. I mean, 2 kids by K-Fug and the bastard runs off with Biggly Spears while she's preggers with the 2nd kid. But by no means is she excused from Takeitoutside's claws (*hisses*) when it comes to this monstrosity she calls wearable:

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And the pose, what can we say that hasn't already been said about K-Fed? She looks like a 5 year old who doesn't wanna get her Easter dress dirty. "Look mah, it's got ruffles and beads and crocodile skins..teeheee" Somebody adjust this girl's helmet..And put some lotion on her ashy ass hands for the love of unprotected sex!!

The Shar black people know as Niecy:
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Ain't a damn thang change, she just squeezed her ghetto ass into a prom dress. Don't get me wrong, I like Shar-she's a pretty girl but she needs a stylist. STAT!

Did I mention, Shar even made her very own version of Britney Spear's-"Toxic" Listen close and you'll hear Shar call Britney a "bitch" at the end...mwahahaha.. Shar is my HERO!! She is all of our heroes.

.:Shar Jackson's version of Toxic:.

Vivica Fox I think you and the collagen lips need join the discussion..What in the hell wrong with the breastisis baby?..Whas' wrong wit' em?!!? I hope this is photoshopped:

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Even if it is photoshopped, I still have a bone to pick with Viv. She was beautiful pre-surgery. Black women age gracefully, we don't need all that collagen crap and titty bags...smh @ Vivica for falling victim to Hollywood propaganda and insecurities.

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07 March 2006

Jamie Foxx --> The New Terrance Howard??

He's not in every other movie like Terrance, but goddamn is he in every other bald Hollywood snatch..He's spreading his penile juice all over Hollywood, with this pic of him and Meagan Goode..




Wow, so much for those Eva LongWHORia rumors, but then again..who knows. Jamie Foxx is so unpredicktable

Hopefully he don't run into any Wandas:



P.S: I miss funny Jamie- don't you???? :(

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Now listen here BITCHES.





Ladies public bathrooms have to be the most vile, disgusting, horrible, triflin' i'm-just-nasty-hoe-cause-i-wanna-be, germ ridden, fishy ass vomit, boiled onions and two day old cabbage smellin', make me loose my appetite for a week places on the face of the galaxy. WASH YOUR FUCKING FILTY HANDS BITCHES!! College bathrooms are the worse. Why is the library bathroom out of order? BECAUSE IT SMELLS LIKE FUCKING FISH! I kid you not. Nemo would be highly offended! You can't even pay a janitor to go in that toxic dump. Just disgusting. Here's a few tips for you ignant stank ass bitches. YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!


1) Throw your tampons and blood ass pads in the box thingy..not on it bitch
2) Stop putting your books and make up and shit on the sink counters..that track germs you idiot
3) Dispense some tissue before you wash your hands..Don't touch on the nasty ass handle after you wash your hands
4) Don't use that dryer disease box thingy bitches. It's just spurts out millions of nasty ass airborne bacteria from the nasty ass bathroom
5) Don't touch the door handle to leave with you bare hands you stupid silly bitch. Didn't you just wash your hands? But then again you wouldn't realize that because you're such a idiot!
6) Better yet..USE TISSUE TO TOUCH EVERYTHING!

I'm such a germaphobe..bordering on OCD sometimes. I get crazy looks from bitches because I wash my hands before I go to the bathroom. Why would I want to touch my vagina with dirty hands?--I don't. I chaulk it up to my experience in the health field, but oh well bitches. It keeps me sane in a way. Also, ending every sentence with the word "bitch" also keeps me sane--bitches.


Our friend and confidant Mary J. Blige feels the same about those nasty bitches..


All hail to Queen Mary's ass


Apparently she requires a new toilet seat for any hotel room she resides in..I don't blame her. Even though people say the toilet is pretty clean, I don't buy that shit (literally..lol). These are probably the same people that don't wash their nasty funky ass hands after they use the funky nasty ass public bathroom..bitches!

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06 March 2006

Pimps are having THE BEST WEEK EVAAAR!!

Three 6 Mafia's performance for "Hard Out Her For a Pimp" at the 78th Annual Academy Awards. I didn't watch the entire thing last night. I was too busy pissed at "Flavor Of Love" for jipping me out of the goddamn finale with some dumb ass flashback show. Yall tell me why Evett--I mean Taraji got up there in her pretty white prom dress to sing her heart out..It's just not right!

Behold: Hilariousness...



Did I mention

Cassidy Out of Jail
You Looka Lika MAN!

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04 March 2006

Black women. We got to do BETTER!

Is Thanksgiving here already?? *sniff sniff* cause I smell freshly baked honey glazed H.A.M! Why do celebrities always manage to make themselves look like Grade F shit?! I know the Oscars aren't here yet, but damn. Brush your hair, put some makeup on..DAMN!

(Disclaimer: The following may be disturbing to the fashion forward, children, and hater's alike)

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03 March 2006

Just lookin out of the window...

The first pics from Cam's new video "Wet Wipes"[source]

I haven't heard the song yet but the video looks *claps* DYNOMITE!! with this paraody of Jay & Bey



Hilariousness!! And the more I look at Jimmie Walker the more he looks like Jay-Z..The resemblance is damn near uncanny:


Ain't we lucky we got em'....

More Celebrities/People I would like to Punch in the Face v1.1

4) Whitney Houston


Enough said. How in the fuck did she go from ashy to classy..BACK to ashy again? What a fucking shame yall. Yall know who I blame it on too dontya? Don't get me wrong, I was probably one of her most loyal fans up until "We Got Something In Common". She needs to make a comeback and FAST! And I have an inkling that an Free crack givea--err Intervention will be what the street pharmacist ordered. Smoke two rocks and call me in the morning.

5) Models:


These bitches must be some of the most shallow, hungry, evil hoes on the face of the planet. Why? because THEY ARE FUCKING HUNGRY!! I was watching the Style Network backstage at some eccenctric gay mans show (aren't they all), and the bitches were so mean. Icegrilling the camera, yelling at the crew, flashing their sunny side up titties..trying to get beautiful and shit...Is it really that serious? I see why Tyra retired from modeling. She's been starving for 15 goddamn years! Naomi needs to take a break long enough from beating bitches down to get a bite of Taco Bell in every now and then...Now that's FIEYARCE!!


6) Chickenheads



Alright i'm from the ghetto (Camden, NJ and still alive to tell the story..lol) And I myself, believe it or not, can get pretty ignant when provoked (of course you can believe it '_'). But i've always had a problem with out of control loud-mouth chicks named "Tookie" or Quesanera and shit like that. Chicken-necking and eye-rolling mammy's that always wanna talk shit. Always up in a negros face, rocking Prada while their kids got on Forman Mills. Or you can catch em' in the "Huddy up and Buy" store for the newest Yaki Perm weave; Quick to roll her blue contacts at me and flip her blond weave like i'm fugged up. BITCH, i'm in college with no kids. Something yo' mammy shoulda taught ya! All you need to do is "stfu" and take my order. If ya see one tell her Takeitoutside said PROMISCUOUS WOMAN, PLEASE HAVE A SEAT!!!

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01 March 2006

People I Would Like To Punch In the Face

O.k, so it looks like I got ONE suggestion for this shitty blog. "Anonymous" suggested I should do a post on people I would punch in the face: So here goes..

People I Would Like To Punch In The Face v1.0


1) Star Jones





Enough said. She is thee most annoying person/thing/organism in the fucking galaxy God must have been under some serious stress when he made her. The name alone is impetus enough for me regurgitate my lunch without hesitation. How disgusting is she? I mean, how desperate do you have to be to marry a man that clearly has "how you doooiiiin?" tendencies, put up a website about it, and then write a book about finding LOVE on top of that. Love? Do we reeeally need advice on love from Star Jones? METHINKSNOT. Is this bitch completely stupid or did the myelin sheaths around her fucking brain neurons dissolve with the rest of her body fat? We'll never know..She'll never tell. And guess what? I don't want to know.














2) Young Jezzy
Or "Young Cheezy" as I like to call him. Apart from his nails on the blackboard-esque voice, Why was it so fucking cool to sell crack in 2005? Yea yea yea, I know he's just one in a long line of rappers, but so what? If I see another Snowman/"Trap Or Die" t-shirt so help me goodness i'm gonna scream like a white girl at a Green Day concert. Lastly, he has a woman face with no facial hair whatsoever. My pussy is so envious.

P.S Did you guys hear about that new shit they call CHAPSTICK? I guess Cheezy here never got the memo. My diagnosis?? ALNS(Ashy Lipped Negro Syndrome) ..
















3) Nancy Grace

Wow, just look at face of this self-serving cunt. She plops on her dry ass Aquanet wig every night, practices her southern drawl and commences to pissing me the fuck off. She kills me with her agressive "I-really-give-a-damn-about-missing-girls" gimmick. Bitch please. If you really gave a damn, why didn't you cover the Latoyia Figueroa story? I have a Kanye moment everytime I watch her show. I don't think she cares about black people yall. Trust me I sent in an angry email along with numerous others. Among crawling across hot coals on her vagina before bed, Nancy loves to railroad the shit out of her guests. And on top of that she was pretty much out to squeeze the glitter off of Micheal Jackson's balls during his trial (how little they may be). She was practically creaming her grannie panties seconds before the verdict, but alas Mike Jack got off. Her expression: PRICELESS!


More to come tomorrow!!!


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